Where I started
For years I was filled with loneliness and sadness. On the outside, I was the envy of so many. I had two healthy daughters that I traveled the world with, I had a big, beautiful home, a husband that was a “nice guy”…but I felt empty inside. The only touch and affection I had was from my daughters. During those breastfeeding years, that felt like enough-most days. The chaos of raising my girls mostly alone, left little time for self reflection.
But every now and then those moments creeped in…Why didn’t he want to touch me? Is my post baby body disgusting? Am I not good enough? Am I not lovable?
Big, big emotions. Hugely sabotaging self talk. A little goes a long way.
I was so scared of divorce. I grew up in the battle of my parents and couldn’t even imagine putting my girls through that. This was my choice and I needed to suck it up and deal with it.
As we were wrapping up another fabulous family vacation that I planned and forced him to come on, we spent a day at the pyramids. Something there shifted me. For the next three weeks, everywhere I went, everything I did, I was bawling. I could not suppress my sadness anymore. It was overflowing out of me. Years of suppression and the gates were open.
My Transformation
A dear friend gifted me a session with a spiritual intuitive who told me to “harness my goddess energy”. Great, what the fuck did that mean? I got off that call and went to google. I started reading, leaning, and diving in. You see, it was becoming clearer and clearer to me that I had an awakening. My fear of divorce completed shifted. I actually demanded a divorce if we couldn’t have the marriage that was a proud example to our daughters.
I had a deep knowing that I had not been living my most authentic life, and seriously, things got really messy.
But everyday, as I chose myself, as I followed the truest desires of my heart, magic appeared, doors opened, the universe rewarded me. I came into alignment. I was able to stay focused on moving forward, on learning, healing, and facing some of my darkest demons.
Why Me?
From my own story, my own experience, I know how scary change is. I know how hard it feels to get started and keep moving forward. I know what it feels like to take a step forward and then two steps backwards. But, I have experience and tools! Tools that help with accountability, with forward momentum, with bringing in more gratitude and joy. I am a tool belt diva, (I really am- I do home renovations and tile work). Energetically, I wear a tool belt of tools that I have customized with my experiences.
I have assembled this collection tools to aid me on my journey and guide you on yours. They include a Master’s Degree in Health Education where I learned the importance of the holistic lifestyle and balancing all aspects of the mind & body.
Level 1 & Level 2 Warrior Goddess Facilitator training where I studied personally under HeatherAsh Amara and focused on guiding women back to their authentic selves.
I am an active VITA-Sex, Love & Relationship Coach where I have studied directly under Layla Martin and mastering coaching skills related to our personal relationships with our own sexuality, breath work, tantra and women’s sexuality.